Sunday 28 September 2014

Of maids, my role and child labor

The other day I took Adiyah, my daughter to sindbad the local family entertainment center. for my North Americans its chuck e cheese of karachi.  Now adiyah is really fond of the indoor playground there and this one is not really made for 2.5 year old its for the big kids u see with tall slides, multiple floor climbing and all.  It's all soft play but being me I feel I can't let her do it all by herself until she is at least five.  So I paid for two people and joined her in the play. Now am not much of a play type but I love to watch her go from one part of the gym to another and encourage her to take the scary ones too. So after a lot of running around in hunchback at most spots I was kinda glad when she settled for the ball pit.  Now while I would relax when she was the only child there I was often on guard as older and more, let me put it gently,  enthusiastic ones would jump into the pool and kick in as if their life depended on it. They quite resembled the frantically paddling non swimmers in deep water too. Anyway so while Adiyah is doing her thing in the ball pool and me doing mine a little girl not much older than dia (she'd Max be 3.5 ) jumped in the pool followed by not so well kept 11-12 year old who was probably accompanying her. Now this little girl looked at me strange while entering so when she decided to get out of the pool I gave her a small smile.  She couldn't resist asking then and blurted out "are you her mommy? " while looking in dia's direction. Her milky while complexion complete with chubby cheeks, the pretty pullover she was wearing above all her almond eyes gave her a very "its hard not to like me" aura but what got me was the utter confusion in those adorable big eyes as she asked the question.  When I nodded affirmative the confusion rose further and this time she stutters slightly not in hesitation or discomfort but more out of "i don't understand you" factor and she asked "but where is your maid?" Out of her rush to reach the other side of the playground she didn't stay back to further inquire but I could see her leaving with a contemplating look on her face with my reply of "no I don't have one."
She left and I am sure she must have forgotten all about our little chat by the time she had left the playground but she remained in my thoughts with her innocent question. A question I kept thinking I must answer with more than "no I don't have a maid". While she may be too young to understand what I say now I hope one day she would understand my replies
Answer to the little girl I don't know the name of
"dear little sweet as Angel looking girl,  you asked me if I don't have a maid after you saw me playing or keeping watch for my daughter at a play gym you perhaps often come accompanied by your mommy's little maid. While I replied no I felt a little inadequate and I feel there is a need to if not justify then perhaps explain my answer. 
No I don't have a maid but while it has a bit to do with me not being able to justify the cost and financial strain it would yield. I think I don't have one for many other reasons. 
I don't have a maid because I don't think I can see myself employing an 11 year old to work for me. It's just not right and I hope when u grow up you would know why not. 
But even if for one second I did have an 11 year old maid, oh for heavens you know what no I won't have a little girl working for me for arguments sake either. Lets assume that even if I had an 11 year old niece or nephew who I could have in that play gym with my daughter I would still find it very difficult to let him take care of my daughter
First because even I In my 30s find it difficult to always be watchful and protective while still allowing her to explore undisrupted how can I trust some one two decade younger to do this job well? 
Besides shouldn't an 11 year old be enjoying the playground as much as you?  Rather look after you in such tempting place isn't it just outright mean to expect a child to babysit another in such environment?
But little one let me break a secret worth more than everything else written here even if I could with all my requirements find another to babysit my daughter there I think I would choose to still be there with her for I am there not out of obligation but of love. 
Did I tell you this was the first time I saw her climbing a floors worth of stairs all by her self and work her way down such big slide?  She did it all by her self after a couple of times of me being there to climb with her. Did I tell you that while I fidgeted with worry my heart expanded to double with joy when she accomplished this? I think I skiped the moment she ran through I tunnel expecting me to do it after her and when I got stuck with my big mommy body in that tunnel she held out her hand saying "mamma aap ko help chahiye (mama you need help)" I swelled with pride when she jumped in that ball pool and started to through balls everywhere after watching a couple of kids doing that and while I may sit here missing out on all the shopping I could have done trust me little girl I am not missing out on anything I value anywhere close to all that development,  laughter,  thrill that I see my own little girl under going. I want my girl to share these moments with me little one for I am selfish and in my selfishness I hope these precious little monents will help us through times ahead when she is cool and i am too old and too old fashioned and we may not have lots common to bond over